How long after saying "Hello" will it be before I'm saying "I'm Sorry"?

Policeman
Don't gimme that look
I know I done wrong but
Don't gimme that look

Draw out your gun like
You're ready to shoot
You got no reason but
You're ready to shoot

Yeah I stole it but
I had my reasons
Decked him in the mouth but
I had my reasons

Shining your light in my face like
I'm not a human
Talking down to me like
I'm not a human

I like these cuffs yeah
They fit real well
Cold and constraining but
They fit real well

Last night, I dreamt that I drank a beer with a cigarette butt in it. Should have known the can was no good when I put it to my lips and some kid nearby said "ohhhh shiiiittttt" or made some kind of funny noise. But, I was probably drunk, so I guess I wouldn't have noticed a thing like that anyways. I think I woke up hacking like I had actually ingested ash and filter. Hopefully this doesn't happen in real life, because it SUCKED in the dream. It hurt physically, I could FEEL the thing lodged in my throat. I'll probably be double checking every brewski I drink for two weeks or something.

I've said it once and I'll say it again. You'll never be truly happy unless you strive to achieve something. Aim for the sky and stop shooting yourself in the foot. Sorry I tried to impart the unconditional love and support my family gave me to you. Don't project the blame on me. Take some for yourself. Reflect and become a better person. I'm not saying this shit for me, I'm saying it for you. Learn to fucking love yourself for who you are inside already.

That's my piece. You can listen or you can be a child and shut me out. It's never unintelligent nor indecisive to seek advice from the people who love you. And I do love you.

Have a nice life.

I've never had to be the one to break up with someone. Usually it's mutual or she does it...it feels terrible, but I had to do it. When it doesn't work, you shouldn't keep faking it, you know?

It's been a while. I'm not dead.

I've been doing stuff for school and all that, plus I forgot the retarded auto-generated password livejournal made for me.

There should be a couple new projects up on my YouTube site soon...one is finished and I just have to output it, and the other has to be touched up a little.

The first is a video art piece set to Lightning Bolt featuring Allston, and the second is a psychological drama of sorts about a hockey player who loses his job. Now I'm in the planning stages of making another one, this time a documentary, about local homeless hero Mr. Butch.

That's the scoop for now. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Hope you all had a good one.

I don't mind admitting that I am on antidepressants. In fact, I'd prefer if the whole world knew, because I had to go a week without them and I was scared like hell that I was going to have a seizure. I felt lightheaded all day today, completely strange and out of it, and after my hockey game tonight weird things started to happen with my vision. It wasn't that things were blurry, rather it was that certain spots had gone completely blind. Thank God I found out when I got home that the package that contained my new prescription had arrived. I don't even want to think about where I might be now had I not ripped into the thing, broke off half a pill, then slid it down my throat.

I resent this grip they've got on me. I want to be free. At this point, it's a completely chemical thing. I honestly feel great about myself and have learned how to overpower emotion with reason. I'm just addicted to the little pills they gave me to counter my teen angst. Not that they don't work or anything, they definitely do. I felt better...fitter...happier...more productive...all that...but they also burrowed into my marrow and made themselves at home. Now I can't get them out. At least not without a fight.

There are lots of other, happier, less personal things that I could and probably should be sharing with the world right now, but those will have to wait. It's 4:30 in the morning and I have an Avid Workshop at 9:30. Yeah, I'm still having trouble sleeping too...one of these days I'll find a solution though, right?

Goddamn right I will. Night kids.

No possession, no objects, just people, just love.

We just got our grill working. I should probably be down there watching it, but it's kind of a slow process. Besides, Meads is checking on it periodically too.

The past couple days have been wonderful. Everything is sweet.

Too bad school starts on Monday so it's gonna be time to chill out. But not yet. Not yet...

Beef. It's what's for dinner.

I was right, those smallpox blankets I moved outta the storage area here got me sick. My throat is real sore now.

On Saturday I applied for a job and had my first day yesterday. I work at Marty's on Harvard Ave, which is kind of a grocery store, but mostly a liquor store. It doesn't seem like it'll be too bad of a gig. I'm doing like 40 hours this week, but during school it'll be closer to 15.

There are some real interesting people who come in there, which makes it fun but also sad at times. We get a few homeless people. One guy followed me home last night because he couldn't get into the store before it closed. I was carrying a 12 pack of something and he wanted to buy one off me. I wasn't particularly attached to 'em all, so I sold him one for a dollar.

On another note, I need more posters. There are still things to set up here. We need another way to make food. Our oven is a piece of shit and heats up to "lukewarm". I made a waffle in a pan yesterday, which wasn't half bad. I put a little butter in the pan and let it melt, then put the waffle in there until it heated up. The result was delicious and probably real unhealthy. I think my parents are sending a grill up. But that fuckin' oven's gotta get fixed, too.

Oh, if you want to write me here:
27 St. Luke's Rd, Apt. 1
Allston, MA 02134